Addiction, a word defined as a compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal, can also apply to social media. Yes, you heard it here. Don’t ask me if this theory has been proven or if this study is making headlines. Just go with me on this, okay? You see, I know about addiction — not because I’ve ever been high on angel dust or strung out on my mother’s signature corn casserole. No, I know about dependence and compulsion because just last month I found myself with an obsession of sizeable proportions — Facebook.
What is it about that social networking service that seems to have a magnetic pull on me? Is it the fact that I’m able to keep in contact with old friends? Or is the verity that I’m able to share hilarious photos of my life? Or perchance, deep down, I get a satisfying kick out of knowing what people are up to on a day to day basis. Maybe I’ve been watching too much Big Brother. Whatever the reason and whatever my rationale, I’m hooked like a fish…or at least I was.
You see, I had an epiphany last month. I decided to chuck up the deuces and take a well deserved break. So, what was it that prompted me to begin a glorious two-month hiatus from Facebook? Was it divine spiritual intervention or the surefire support of a self-help group? Alas, it was neither. Sadly, there is no Facebook-aholics Anonymous. The reason for my sabbatical was sheer overload.
Let me explain.
I joined Facebook back in the winter of 2005 as a freshman in college. Back then, it was only open to college students — oh, how I wish it wouldn’t have changed. I remember Facebook being fresh and new and hip and exciting. I used it as an effective means of communication with friends that had moved to different cities, and also as a way to learn about some of the different organizations on campus. All in all, I thought it was pretty cool.
And then tragedy struck.
In September 2006, Facebook was extended to everyone…and I mean everyone. This meant that college students weren’t the only ones that could join. No, this signified that adolescent teenagers and old geezers wishing to reclaim their glory days were now perusing my wall, going through my photos and demanding to know why I refuse to ‘friend’ them or ‘like’ their new status update. Suddenly everyone and their mother were on the site informing each other of everything, and it just became too much. Frequent status updates became the norm. Photos of someone taking their own photo while staring at their reflection in their bathroom mirror became average. And checking into places became the new fad.
I’m not a kidnapper, nor do I have the desire to be one, but I’ve got to say that if I did wish to find someone, it certainly wouldn’t be hard. All of this — all of this supreme oversharing — seemed to have a negative effect on me. Ever seen Batman Forever? Remember the scene with The Riddler sitting on his throne while sucking up the brainwaves of every citizen in Gotham? Yeah, that’s how I feel every time I logged into Facebook to be greeted by my news feed filled to the brim with practically every single thing that my friends have done that day. Now with its recent makeover and upgrade, the site has added The Ticker, a new device that features status updates in real time.
Some call it amazing. Others call it stalking.
Look, I know I probably sound like a hater, but I can assure you that I left the Haterade in the fridge. I know that Facebook is amazing. I just feel as though people post too much of their personal business. Forgive me, but I don’t want to know about you and your boyfriend or girlfriend arguing…nor do I want to see your one-hundredth status of the afternoon about how much you love each other. I don’t care to know where you are at every second of the day, and I don’t need to see photos of your infected toe. Why are you listing your phone numbers? Why are you making statuses about personal family drama? I feel as though some people put too much online, and as a result, they become something of a luminary for the world to see…or in some cases, mock and ridicule. In fact, it’s even safe to say that some Facebook posters can be broken down into specific types. You have the drama queen, the love bug, the work hater and the attention seeker. It’s exhausting.
With this being and said and done, I recently decided to do some repair and renovation. Before my blissful sabbatical from Facebook, I changed my privacy settings and deleted a few friends…and by a few I mean roughly 300. I decided to share my face with a different book – novels. Yes, that’s right. I began reading again. Remember reading? That’s the form of entertainment that existed before computers. Has the digital age made us lazy? One could argue that it has. Nevertheless, I decided to spend my break doing some of the things that I like to do such as reading and writing.
I can understand the appeal of Facebook. Trust me. I’d log in at 9 in the morning for a quick scan of what’s new…and then tragically find myself logging off at 12 in the afternoon. I comprehend why people like it, and it certainly helps with boredom — especially for those that may work from home. Still, something’s got to give, right? After all, addiction is ugly. I make my return to Facebook in two more weeks, and I’ll admit that I am looking forward to it. I’m curious to see what my friends have been up to…but if you think I’m sharing my personal business in a box allotted to only a certain number of characters then you’d better think again.
And I could care less who ‘likes’ that decision or not.
I’m trying to understand here. You quit Facebook, but you’re going back?
If that’s the case then, you didn’t quit. You’re taking a break.
I actually quit over two months ago.
I totally understand your point. It’s one reason why I left. I got tired of all the narcissism and everyone’s BS.
I also got tired of FB’s shady privacy practices. The back-and-forth and constant change of their privacy rules. You never know what they’re going to do next. Except continue to push the envelope and eventually force everyone to share all info.
Not to mention that FB sees it’s users as $$.
I’ve been away from FB for over 2 months. The only tough part is, as a web designer, my company and all it’s brands are on it (damn it!).
I didn’t want to go back. That said, I need to work on our company’s FB pages and I would like improve the way we communicate on it.
So instead of going back (because you can reinstate your account since they don’t delete anything), I created a business account. It’s just me. I’m not going to let anyone of my friends, family or co-workers know that it’s me. It’s there to simply view my company’s pages and help optimize them.
No status updates, crazy ghetto talk, questionable pictures, and frivolous banter. I log in (about once a month) and all I see are our company’s pages and our customers.
If it was possible never to go back, I wouldn’t. Unfortunately half the planet is on it so there had to be a compromise on my part.
Hello, Frank. It seems we are in the same boat. I quit Facebook for two months, and if I had it my way, it would be longer. However, in addition to being our resident technology writer, I’m also a part of the marketing team at Surpass which means that I have to return to Facebook and Twitter to continue to promote the company. My boss is shooting daggers at me. LOL
You make a good point about half the world being on Facebook. It is definitely a great way to stay in touch with folks. I just think that people overshare. In all honesty, after deleting those 300 people, things did get better for me. I didn’t see as much crap. The sabbatical has been rather refreshing, and I really do feel cleansed.
I like your idea of a business account. Do you use Google+?
This is actually a struggle for me because I don’t ever want to go back to FB.
Just over the weekend my wife said she wants to go on it more. She never goes on FB (she’s just not big on tech) but her friends have been posting some pictures and video of dance parties (a la Xbox Kinect) and she wants to see them. So I may be forced to go back.
Just to get things clear, I hope I didn’t come off negatively. This subject gets me a bit frustrated due to the fact that FB owns half the freaggin world and one just can’t get away.
Yes, I’m on Google+ but don’t share much personal stuff. I’ve turned that into more of a professional tool. I’m following some brands and professionals that have some great posts.
I’m in love with Twitter. That’s my social platform of choice. I originally joined just because. Then noticed how professionals and companies were using it so I turned it into a networking/professional knowledge tool.
Although lately I’ve made it a little more personal. Don’t want to come off like I’m all work an no play.
I think I need to do what you did. Go back and do some house cleaning. Get rid of all the “friends” who really aren’t or I don’t keep in touch with. I didn’t overshare or use FB all that much anyway.
I agree that people share way too much of their lives.
The thought of also spending more time than necessary learning all their privacy settings is a turn off. Trying to keep up with how their privacy settings change is no fun.
Just today I got an email from Google notifying me that Maps on my phone was tracking me. I love that they actually let me know my phone was tracking me. So I logged in, changed the setting and done (Thank you Google!).
I, too, believe that some individuals share too much of their personal business on Facebook. It’s not wise to do that. If criminals are reading, and some do, they know your every whereabout. And I have known a person’s home to be broken into because they placed on Facebook that they were traveling. Go back to the basics. Pick up the phone, call a friend or even better write a letter.
Yes, entirely too much is being shared. I can’t imagine why some people don”t realize this. How has telling everyone where you are become a fad? I agree with you, Brenda. It would be safer to communicate with phones and through the postal service! 🙂
I’ve made it a point to stay connected to my friends by texting, picture/video message. It’s much more personal/intimate; the rest of the world doesn’t know about it; and it’s a better experience anyway.
Facebook is an effective means of communication with friends. Some people over share personal information and lets face it everyone on facebook are not good people. Call me old school pick up the phone and call me or send me a letter. In the words of Bill Cosby I don’t know the key to sucess,but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. To much communcation will lead to over load.
I agree with your point of view, but I see Facebook as an extension of myself. It’s not a full picture of me, but for my friends that want to catch a quick glimpse of Caila for the day, it’s available to them. Self expression. I admit that it can be addicting, I love updating my status and making my friends laugh…but that’s just me. I’m amazed at technology, and I’m pretty sure criticism was made about the tv or the radio when it was first invented…nevertheless, those inventions helped keep us all connected to each other. Hence Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
I appreciate Facebook and I’m excited to see what’s next! I also value your journey in quitting Facebook. Stand firm and live your life. Facebook isn’t for everyone…you can choose to participate or not. That’s the beauty of it.
Very well written, sir. It’s strange that some people actually feel comfortable posting their entire life online. I am one of the few that never bought into Facebook. After I shut down my Myspace page(back in the day, lol), I decided to steer clear of social networking all together. Although I understand the benefits of Facebook as a means of communication for some people, personally, I do all of my “networking” via phone calls or text messaging.
I have to say that very well, the article is very nice.
It’s strange that some people actually feel comfortable posting their entire life online. I am one of the few that never bought into Facebook
I agree. I’m going on month three of my break. I’m enjoying it so far. Do you use any form of social media?
Update: After this discussion (and my wife wanting to get back on Facebook) I caved.
I learned that this behemoth of a company has it’s tentacles in every facet of modern life. It’s almost impossible to escape.
I actually have been away from FB for longer than 2 months (just realized that). I figured I would just text and email friends to keep in touch after quitting. I did. They didn’t.
They did reply to texts but as for letting me know about events (i.e. birthday parties, get togethers, trips, etc) I got no replies via email. Why? Because most people do all that through FB. In fact, I just noticed that there’s a party coming up soon at a local resort that I completely forgot about.
The only people that reply to emails are the in-laws or other older family members that aren’t on Facebook.
I’m not big on sharing every little detail of my life. I love my privacy. So instead of hating, I’m just going to go with the flow.
I got my wife her very own Facebook account so I can dump all her friends from my (I had turned it into a sort of joint account, which really didn’t work very well).
Not to mention all of my employer’s brands are on Facebook and sometimes I have to manage them.
And like Jaylen, I’m going to start deleting friends I really don’t talk nor keep in contact with. Delete any apps that I don’t use (which will be most of them), and be extremely
Ah, so you finally caved! 🙂 No worries. It happens. I’m actually supposed to return to Facebook in a few days, but I’m going to take the month of March off as well. It’s been nice so far. It seems the whole entire world is on Facebook. I’m sorry to hear that your friends don’t believe in using email anymore. When I was on Facebook, I’d keep that and email separate. It’s just not the same to me. Business is business. Facebook is not. That’s just my opinion.
However, having said that, it does seem like you’re taking a step in the right direction. Deleting folks that you don’t speak with and apps that you don’t use is a good way to rid yourself of content that floods your feed. Consider it spring cleaning!
Also, for the record, I’m not against Facebook. I just think some people share entirely too much. However, since you now know this, it’s good that you’re making adjustments.